Our Vice President (No Heart) Supports Torture and Our President (No Brain) Is a Fool Who Doesn't Read

Let's start this off with the usual White Houst denials of fact.

WASHINGTON — The White House said Friday that U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney was not talking about a torture technique known as "water boarding" when he said dunking terrorism suspects in water during questioning was a "no-brainer.''

Human rights groups said Cheney's comments amounted to an endorsement of water boarding, in which the victim believes he is about to drown.

[full story]

Next we'll look at what the hubbub is about.

In an interview Tuesday with WDAY of Fargo, N.D., Cheney was asked if "a dunk in water is a no-brainer if it can save lives.''

The vice president replied, "Well, it's a no-brainer for me but for a while there I was criticized as being the vice president for torture. We don't torture. That's not what we're involved in.''

Now, to put the question in context, you need to know that Cheney was talking to some right-wing radio nutjob. You know the type, they love torture. They love the idea of brown people being drowned and revived and then giving up the next 9/11 plot...just like they saw on 24 the night before. Which is to say, they live in a militarist fantasy world. So Cheney goes to these "friendly" media outlets and reassures the nujtobs, his only surviving support group, that he is, indeed, torturing brown people, and don't let the liberal media tell you otherwise.

There's a bit of wink-wink, nudge-nudge, about the whole deal, but this is pretty solid evidence that not only does the U.S. use this technique to extract information, but that our Vice-President is extremely supportive of its use. When something is a "no-brainer" that means that only a person without a brain wouldn't do it. Hence, Cheney assumes he has a brain, and tortures people. This is much easier for Cheney, as he no longer has a heart.

Bush, on the other hand, certainly has a heart, he just has no brain. Let's take a look at the latest fantasies and revisionist histories coming from our (*scared gulp*) Commander-in-Chief.

“We will win this election because Republicans understand the values and priorities of the American people,” Mr. Bush said. “We’ll win this election because our priorities and our values do not shift with the latest political opinion poll or focus group.”

Don't you just love that false bravado? That sense that our leaders know sooo much more than us, and that Republican priorities (wars, paiges, torture) are really American priorites. Surely this man realizes he is one of the most consistently unpopular Presidents precisely because his values (hate them gays, start them wars, fear them Ayrabs) are NOT shared by most of the American people.

But it gets better (or worse, if you happen to be a citizen here). Bush then goes on to say (regarding Iraq and the WTC).

Mr. Bush was disdainful of Democratic arguments that the war in Iraq has made the United States less safe than before by stoking anti-American resentment, thus creating a breeding ground for terrorists in the Middle East.

“Iraq is not the reason the terrorists are at war against us,” he said. “I would remind the House Democrats our troops were not in Iraq when the terrorists first attacked the World Trade Center in 1993.”

Correct, jackass, our troops weren't in Iraq in '93. But our troops were in Saudi Arabia, after smashing Iraq in '93, as NOTED BY THE PEOPLE WHO ATTACKED US IN '93!!!

I mean, does this guy even read the statements made by our enemies? Does he have any idea what inspires them? I really don't think he does, or perhaps like Cheney, there's one reality he sells to his base and another reality he tries to foister on the rest of us.

I wonder if he would be kind enough to remind House Democrats who it was that attacked us on 9/11 and whether or not it was Iraq (and whether or not he is "dead or alive").

Next we get the other side of his "thinking 'bout terra".

“You do not create terrorists by fighting the terrorists,” Mr. Bush said. “Our goal in Iraq is victory.” That victory will come through a combination of resolve and tactical flexibility, he said, repeating a theme he has often embraced in recent weeks.

This is totally retarded. No, you don't create terrorists by fighting terrorists. No one said that. What many of us said back before the invasion, during the screwing up on the invastion, and WHAT THE U.S. INTELLIGENCE AGENCIES SAID LAST MONTH is that by invading a country that hasn't attacked us, and wasn't a threat to us, WE HAVE CREATED A NEW GENERATION OF TERRORISTS!!

(*big sigh*)

I'm actually kind of surprised he didn't say that we'll defeat the terrorists and accomplish the mission by staying the course and dunking them in water.

These people need to go, and soon.